From recent phone conversations to reading articles and watching Women Living Well's webcast last night... Every message seemed to be an arrow targeted straight for my heart and each one hit the mark every time.
For the past few weeks, I've been praying that God would help me be content and thankful for all He's given us. And, as He so faithfully does, He answered and began working on my heart... but, of course, not as I had planned.
First, He used this quote to grab my attention.
Wow... I knew exactly which sin surgery God wanted to perform on me, but I was nowhere near prepared for the side effects.
When I found out we're going to have another baby this Spring, my first thought was Ok...now we have to move!
Logan and I have been wanting to buy a house for a while now...living in an apartment can get cramped very quickly. Especially with a toddler and her ever so many {but never too many} toys! But, finances just don't allow it right now and I've really struggled with my attitude and remaining content with this. Although I've struggled with contentment for as long as I can remember, where we live and how our home looks seems to be my greatest spiritual downfall.
It's what I'm most defensive and insecure about. It's the last thing I'll admit to most of the time, and is by far the most intense of all my spiritual battles.
I can pin point almost all spiritual defeat, internal strife, depression, and even anger in my life and connect it to Materialism.
I knew that's what God wanted to work on. So, I claimed Psalm 121 and prepped for surgery!
I began thinking about Materialism; how it effects me, what it really is...
After praying, thinking, and praying some more, God showed me...
It's Pride. The root of it all is Pride!
When I think back to when I last thought about how I wanted our house to look, the reason behind it was so that other people would think I'm a good decorator, or that I keep a clean house, or that people would think this or think that...
God gently nudged me {as He so wonderfully does} and said, That's pride... You've let pride take root in your heart and take control of your emotions, your decisions, your thought process and how you view your life.
It's the life sucker, joy stealer, and the anger and sin initiator in me.
It's what prohibits me from genuinely putting my family first. Wanting to elevate myself above others, I only end up in pain and misery and separated from others.
I'm working on memorizing these verses in the hopes of uprooting the pride in my heart and kicking it to the curb.
God hates pride.
Prov.8.13 "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate."
God promises to punish pride.
Isaiah 2.11 "The lofty looks of man shall be humbled, and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, and the Lord alone shall be exalted on that day."
Isaiah 13.11 "And I will punish the world for their evil, and the wicked for their iniquity; and I will cause the arrogancy of the proud to cease, and will lay low the haughtiness of the terrible."
* * * * *
The second sin surgery God had in mind was to eliminate something that had stemmed from my pride and materialistic mindset.
My Grass is Greener philosophy.
I really struggle to remain content with where I'm at in life.
I am consistently deceived by the father of lies... His lies slowly make their way into my heart and make me doubt my abilities as a mother, a wife, a Pastor's wife... Consequently, thoughts like "I'm not cut out to be a mother. My kids deserve better than me. I'd be better doing something else..." overwhelm me to the point of wanting to give up. And nothing would make satan happier.
Another culprit -- I am constantly comparing my home, my cooking and housekeeping abilities, pretty much my whole life to others'... Other Moms seem to have it together all the time, somehow effortlessly maintaining their supermodel looks and stainless name-brand clothing. You know the kind... You pass by them in the grocery store thinking, "How in the world do they do it?!?!"
This encouraged my heart like nothing else... I am guilty of this very thing and hated myself for it, but didn't know how to get the victory over it. This quote changed all of that for me!
I was listening to Women Living Well's webcast last night. The topic of discussion was Motherhood and Marriage, which was perfect timing for the condition of my heart as of late.
Darlene Schacht was a keynote speaker and she encouraged us to love our families, make them our priority and serve them! They are our ministry! Just as Jesus served and washed His Apostles' feet!
"Being an awesome wife has little to do with our clothing, but has everything to do with the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit."
She shared her sister Betty's thoughts on personal expectations. She calls it the June Cleavers Syndrome. This is when our expectations are what we think they should be according to the standards of what we see around us, rather than embracing the woman we were created to be. June Cleavers Syndrome develops when we're busy imitating someone else's expectations and mentally downplaying our strengths and abilities.
When we doubt our ability to be the wife and mother that our husband and children need us to be, just remember that God, in all His wisdom, perfection and love, gave our husband and each of our children to us!
He has entrusted our children into our care because He knows we are the ones who can best care for them.
Everybody has different situations, different circumstances, differing strengths and weaknesses... We need to embrace who we are and let God mold us. He will use all the little characteristics and attributes He created us with to make us into His Masterpiece!
Embrace what God has given you and bloom where you're planted.
The grass may look greener on the other side, but the grass is green where you water it!
1 comment:
Awesome... and that green grass on the other side may look green at a distant but closer up it may be just a full of green weeds if not more green weeds.
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