The Chain of Unforgiveness

I've totally forgiven him.

I really have. But, I'm just so angry. Why did I have to endure that pain for so many years? 

She continued looking me right in the eye, insisting that she had forgiven her husband (who had humbly asked for forgiveness) while recounting his many infractions.

It goes both ways. Husbands may not be as vocal, but years can pass after we've told ourselves and everyone else that we have forgiven, while keeping the situation - whatever it was - as fresh in our minds as the day it happened, even years later.

We're really good at deceiving ourselves, aren't we? Sure, we've forgiven but, when it comes to remembering grievances, elephants have nothing on husbands and wives. Our memories aren't just good, they're more secure than a maximum security prison. If there's a safe, secure place where grievances will never be lost or tarnished, it's in the memory prison of a wounded, unforgiving heart where they are kept for instant display.

And that's just how Satan likes it - wives and husbands forever keeping in easy reach past grievances that, when brought up yet again, destroy closeness, openness, and joy in marriage.

When we've sinned against our spouse we must seek forgiveness - it's not optional. But neither is it optional to withhold forgiveness when it is sought.

How did holding on to grievances become more important than walking in fellowship with the person we love? It's as if we've turned our list of grievances into our new best friend.

But those hurts are not your friend. They're a chain that will keep your spirit bound in the prison of bitterness while securing a barrier between you and your spouse. Are you living this reality, right now?

Just let it go. Release your grasp on those things that "prove" you are right and he/she is wrong. The irony is that you think you "have" these grievances, but the fact is that they have you. Let go. You won't lose your leverage. You'll gain your freedom.

Forgiveness is serious business - it's just not optional for the believer. Jesus said that if you won't forgive, you won't be forgiven - Matthew 6:15. This is the very heart of the matter: We need forgiveness, but we can forget this.

Sometimes we've spent so much energy on the wrongs others have done (to us) that we discount the wrongs we, ourselves, have done. When we reflect on our own deep need of God's mercy, it's easier to stop standing as the judge over our spouse. And, remember that warning from Matthew? Is the chain of unforgiveness worth the price you will pay?

The call for every husband and wife is to be quick - just as quick as God - to forgive. Genuine forgiveness leaves the past in the past, never referencing it again.

How grateful we should be that God extends that mercy to us. How quick we should be to extend it to our spouse. 


Thank you Matthew Jacobson for this amazing article...

You can read more from Matthew and his wife, Lisa, at The Time-Warp Wife.

All He's Ever Wanted

Saw this floating around on Facebook and it made me smile. 

So often we feel we have to change ourselves into something God deems "acceptable" or "worthy" before we can give ourselves to Him.

We think we have to "fix" ourselves before God would even consider touching us. 

Maybe you think you're just too far gone. A lost cause. So worthless even God wouldn't want you.

I've got news for you, my friend.

He created you and calls you His Child! 

Don't underestimate His love. Don't give up on Him. He loves you for who you are and He's never given up on you!

You and everything you are is all He's ever wanted!

1 John 3:1 "Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God..."

The Heart of the Home

As J. R. Miller put it, "home happiness depends on the wife.

Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere.

Her hands fashion its beauty.

Her heart makes its love."


As a wife and mother, the joy of my husband and children relies heavily on me. Their hearts are in my hands.

I find myself caught up in the picking-up, cleaning-up aspect of my "job" and, at times, think so is this really it? This is the beauty of motherhood ... a sparkling clean toilet and mopped floors?" 

It's hard sometimes to find fulfillment and joy in a long day of cleaning up messes and wiping sticky bottoms!

But as a mother, my "job" is far more intricate, far more precious, and far more beautiful than I could ever imagine.

As a mother, I have the privilege of comforting, loving and guiding my children through the up's and down's of life; helping and watching them learn and grow; leading them in their walk with the Lord...

As a mother, I have the beautiful role of making a house a sanctuary -- a safe-haven for the ones God has placed in my care.

This is no small task! But I'm claiming Phil. 3:14 and trust that God will give more patience when mine falls short, more strength when I feel I have none left to give, and more love than I feel my heart can hold.

We're Like Pumpkins

So you've probably already seen the picture of this on Facebook, but it's encouraged my heart every time I've read it. I had to share it for the few who haven't and give people a chance to read it again!

Why is being a Christian like being a Pumpkin?

God picks you from the patch, brings you in, 

and washes all the dirt off of you.

Cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff.

He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc...

And then He carves you a new smiling face 

and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the World to see. 

How true is that?! Now every time you see a pumpkin you can think of God's love and handiwork in your life!

I love it.

Keep on shining!!

Cheeseburger Soup

There's nothing like soup on a cold, rainy day! Had to share this awesome recipe I made yesterday. It was so yummy!

INGREDIENTS:

-1/2 lb. ground beef
-3/4 c. chopped onion
-3/4 c. shredded carrots
-3/4 c. diced celery
-1 tsp. dried basil
-1 tsp. dried parsley flakes
-4 Tbsp. butter, divided
-3 c. chicken broth
-4 c. peeled, diced potatoes
-1/4 c. all-purpose flour
-2 c. (approx.16oz.) velveeta cubed
-1 1/2 c. milk
-3/4 tsp. salt
-1/4 - 1/2 tsp. pepper
-1/4 c. sour cream

1. Brown ground beef in 3-qaurt sauce pan. Drain and set aside.
2. In same sauce pan, add 1T butter, onion, carrot, parsley, basil and celery. Saute until tender.
3. Add broth, potatoes and beef. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer 10-12 minutes (until potatoes are tender).
4. In small skillet, melt remaining 3T butter and add flour. Cook and stir 3-5 minutes or until bubbly. Add to soup and bring to a boil. Cook/stir for 2 minutes.
5. Reduce heat to low. Stir in cheese, milk, S&P. Cook and stir until cheese melts. Remove from heat and blend in sour cream.

Enjoy! 

You can find this recipe and much, much more at The Recipe Critic!

Facials & Pumpkin Muffins

I had a Girls Night for our Teens last weekend. We spent the evening experimenting with DIY facials and, like every girl loves to do {but would never admit to, being the self-disciplined, genteel Ladies that we are}, we STUFFED OUR FACES!

I made these Pumpkin Muffins. So yummy! And only 2 ingredients! No, I'm not kidding. Just two!

COMBINE-

- 1 box spice cake mix

- 1 can pumpkin

1. Pour into greased or paper-lined muffin tins.
2. Bake at 350 15-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.
3. In theory, you could add chocolate chips or peeled, cubed apples for something extra. 

I will be making these again in the near future! They were ohh so good!!


I also made these Chocolate Turtles. These are so addictive it's not even funny...

INGREDIENTS

- 1 bag Rolo chocolates
- 1 bag mini pretzels
- 1 bag pecan halves

1. Spread desired amount of pretzels on cookie sheet. Place one Rolo chocolate on top of each pretzel. 
2. Bake at 350 4 minutes or until Rolo is softened. 
3. Place pecan halves on top and press into each Rolo.

            Voila! 

We had so much fun with these natural facials:

Banana facial - Mashed banana mixed with approx. 1 tbsp. of honey

Oatmeal facial - 1/2 c. Ground oatmeal, 2 tbsp. honey, and 1/8 c. water.
Grind oatmeal in a blender. Add honey. Stir well. Add water slowly and stir. Add more water/honey according to desired consistency.

My Devotional for the Girls:

Unveiling Your True Beauty

It's very important to take care of ourselves; we do our hair, take care of our skin, our nails, all that fun stuff. But what's even more important is making sure we're taking care of our inner beauty; our heart, our purity, our spirituality...

This is something that is so rare in our world today. Women of this generation are consumed with outer beauty, with what's sexy, and what the guys want.

Rather than allowing the world to define our understanding of true beauty and femininity, we need to learn what God values and what He considers truly beautiful.

Prov. 31:30 "Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." 

1 Peter 3:3-5 "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting of the hair, and of wearing gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves..." 

What God values most is a meek and quiet spirit, and a heart that trusts and seeks after Him.

When we allow God to rebuild our understanding of feminine beauty, our entire outlook and value system has to change. Too often, we allow pop culture to define our understanding of feminine beauty. We've inundated our minds with modern magazines, TV, movies, and the fashion industry -- a world that values the "Victoria Secret model" look and attitude. We're surrounded by peers who applaud self-obsessed, arrogant, sexually-aggressive young women. Enticed and deceived by the Father of Lies, we try to venture as close to those standards as possible, while still somehow maintaining our Christianity.

We can't.

Sometimes people get a bit nervous when the topic of modesty is addressed. Maybe you think, "Would allowing God to reform my beauty cause me to become ugly and boring?" I think when we think of modesty we picture ourselves walking around in gray, tent-like dresses with morose expressions on our makeup-less faces. Our hair maybe pinned back in a tight, unattractive bun. We wonder if God is so consumed with inward beauty that He deems any physical beauty as unhealthy or unspiritual...

{This fear is a repercussion of our failure to teach and clarify... This is never emphasized enough} God does care about our appearance!

Prov. 31:22 "She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple." 

In Bible times, silk and purple were highly valued and considered very beautiful! Obviously, God places a high price on the "Prov.31 Woman" and this verse tells us that one of her characteristics was she took care of her appearance! So no, modesty is not wearing ankle length dresses and covering your body from head to toe.

God has a completely different design for your feminine beauty; one that reflects His glory, not the empty charm of this world.

Modesty is about making sure your clothing is covering all the parts of your body that should be saved for your husband's eyes only. However, it goes farther than just your clothing. It's also your attitude and how you carry yourself. Being flirty, overly-flamboyant, always trying to get attention, etc. is not being modest.

It's important to make sure your clothes are not too tight or too revealing, and that your attitude and countenance are becoming of a young lady seeking after God.

In college, I read a lot about missionaries and women of God... Women like Amy Carmichael, Catherine Booth and Narcissa Whitman. If you're unfamiliar with these inspiring, God-honoring women, I highly encourage you to read about them. These women rejected the empty feminine charm of the world and embraced an altogether different kind of beauty - the beauty of Jesus Christ. They showcased femininity as God intended it to be - in all its elegance, grace, nobility and lasting loveliness.

Can you imagine glowing with such a divine inner sparkle that caused everyone around you to be inspired and captivated? This is what it means to reflect the glory of God through our femininity. It's feminine beauty as God intended it to be.

Rather than following the empty, fruitless pattern of our culture, it's time we turn our eyes to the Author of all true beauty.

Develop a closer relationship with God. Walk closer to Him. In doing so, you will unveil your true beauty and shine for Him like never before!

*****

Meet my girls...

Bethany, Maddie, Destiny, Gracie, Jacie, & Gabby

{some girls couldn't make it... we sure missed ya!}

Love you guys!!!

Thank you Cindy Scarcelli for taking awesome pictures for us!

Funny Finds -- Shoe Hunt

So I have a thing for shoes. Every once in a while I look online to see what's new or what's come back in style. I found these on my shoe hunt this week... 

Really? I... Really?!

Willy Wonka...

This is totally a prank Logan would pull on me with a pair of my shoes!

I don't even know...

Little too much Safari love...

 

Nothing like embracing your inner child!

Props for creativity!

8 Tips to Help Him Hear Your Heart

This is probably one of the most frustrating of problems in my marriage. I feel I spend so much time and energy pouring my heart out to Logan in an attempt to explain how I feel and get him to understand me. Only to be completely misunderstood and left feeling hurt and angry by his lack of love and care to understand my heart.

One thing I've slowly come to realize is that we really are from 2 different planets and basically speak 2 different languages. I'll say something as clearly as I possibly can and Logan will get a completely different message than what I was trying to get across to him. 

This is incredibly frustrating and is the leading cause of so many disagreements and arguments in my marriage. It's so easy to give up and give into thoughts like, "why bother? it's more peaceful when we don't talk anyway...".  After giving up for a while, you can practically see the walls between the two of you building higher and thicker. By the time you have a change of heart, it seems impossible to tear them down and your relationship seems hopeless.

Don't give up! There is hope!

This is something that can be worked through!

Matthew Jacobson {Husband of Time-Warp Wife's Lisa Jacobson} shared some tips on how to help your husband truly understand you.

No, I didn't back down.

Not this time.

She was wrong about it. I just needed to keep explaining why until she understood. Except it didn't work out like that. I thought I was adding clarity. So why wasn't she nodding in thoughtful agreement? Instead, the temperature kept rising until Lisa yelled (spoke with a firm tone, she says} and said (yelled),

"I don't care if I'm wrong. I just want to know that you care how I feel. I want to know that you are hearing me."

Marriage communication - sometimes building a bridge to Mars seems less complicated. Why is that? Why do the simplest things become another opportunity for tension or disagreement? 

Lisa will quickly tell you what makes the difference for her. Being listened to, having the sense that she is being heard. Can you identify with that? Do you want your husband to hear you when you have something on your mind?

Here are 8 Tips to Help Him Hear Your Heart--

Recognize Your Power. That's right, you are a powerful person in the life of your husband. Many wives don't feel powerful and therefore don't recognize this reality but that is a major mistake. The Bible speaks of your power to influence your man without uttering a word. 1 Peter 3.2 says that a wife's godly character and lifestyle, along with deep respect, can move a man to the saving knowledge of Jesus. If your character and godly witness can do that, it can go a long way in gaining his ear.

Be Specific. Don't barrage him with many concerns at the same time. The most difficult times I've had "hearing" Lisa is when there were 37 things she wanted to talk about all at the same time. We guys can get impatient if it seems like "everything's" wrong. Spend some time deciding what are the most important things you want him to "hear" and stick to those.

Watch Your Tone (and countenance) because a soft answer turns away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger. Prov 15.1 The way you speak to your husband is your responsibility. If he chooses to be unkind, you can still be holy in your response (not self-righteous, but holy).

Pick Your Time and Place. Be wise, thoughtful, and purposeful. Do you have something on your mind? So does he! Think through what headspace he is in. If he is walking home from a day at work, count on there being better times to get him to sit down and focus on what is on your heart.

Express Your Genuine Gratitude First. Sure, your man slays dragons, leaps tall buildings, and does a lot of heavy lifting in life but for all that, he's a person. People want to be appreciated. There's nothing like genuine praise and thankfulness to open ears to hear what you have to say.

Be a Good Friend. Have you been your husband's friend? True friendship speaks of loyalty, genuine interest, care for how he's doing, etc. You see, the Bible says, faithful are the wounds of a friend, Prov. 27.6. If Lisa has something challenging to say (trust me, it happens) I can hear it because she has cultivated her friendship with me. I know her wounds are faithful - coming from a heart that is with me and for me.

Be a Generous Lover. Withholding intimacy is a powerful weapon that is used regularly in Christian marriages in order to get what is wanted or as payback. Don't ever do this. Why? Because using sex in this way is sinful and very destructive, 1 Corinthians 7.3-5

Ask God for His Help. Too often we approach challenges in our own strength. Seek God - ask Him to help your husband to develop ears to hear you and ask Him to help you approach your man in a way that makes it easier for him to hear.

Change doesn't come overnight, but these few changes in your approach will help tremendously in your goal of being heard. Are some of you still feeling cynical that he'll just never change and become a listener? Remember, you serve the God who made the stars. Shining light in dark places is His specialty. Do your part, walk in love, and trust Him.

{Article shared from The Time-Warp Wife}


Isn't it refreshing to hear from a man's perspective?

What are some things you've found that help you get through to your husband? What helped rebuild your relationship?

Ramblings & Randominity

Just some randomness from the past little while... 

I love rainy days! I mean LOVE them! I would be blissfully content living in London with maybe a day or 2 a month of sunny weather. Call me crazy. Don't care. I LOVE IT! My rainy day ritual begins with sticking my hands out the window and feeling the rain fall between my fingers. Then I put on my favorite sweats, make a pot of coffee, curl up on the couch with a good book or movie, and bask in the enchanting crescendo of dancing rain on the roof. Bliss!

I have a new-found love for Nutella! Yes, it took me this long to discover it. And yes, it is one of the most amazing foods on the planet! I assure you, I have been making up for lost time! 

While on a picnic at the pond near our apartment, we discovered Emma has a fear of flies! Yes, flies. When she sees one she'll freeze and stare for a long while, then whimper remaining perfectly still until someone shoo's it away. I haven't caught her reaction on video yet, but it's quite funny!

Buttered Popcorn Jelly beans are just about the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted. Don't give in to the strangely enticing lure of the Frankenstein of Jelly beans! Your tastebuds will thank you!

This week has been nothing but teething pains, fevers, tantrums and irritability in the life of a certain 16-month-old. I have been at my wits end, wracking my brain for ways to comfort Emma all week. While surfing Youtube for cartoons and videos for her to watch, I found this hysterical video! 

Hope that brightened your day!


What's your week been like?

The Grass is Green Where You Water It

God has been performing multiple open heart surgeries this past week and I'm convinced He performed every one of them on me.

From recent phone conversations to reading articles and watching Women Living Well's webcast last night... Every message seemed to be an arrow targeted straight for my heart and each one hit the mark every time.

For the past few weeks, I've been praying that God would help me be content and thankful for all He's given us. And, as He so faithfully does, He answered and began working on my heart... but, of course, not as I had planned.

First, He used this quote to grab my attention.

Wow... I knew exactly which sin surgery God wanted to perform on me, but I was nowhere near prepared for the side effects.

When I found out we're going to have another baby this Spring, my first thought was Ok...now we have to move! 

Logan and I have been wanting to buy a house for a while now...living in an apartment can get cramped very quickly. Especially with a toddler and her ever so many {but never too many} toys! But, finances just don't allow it right now and I've really struggled with my attitude and remaining content with this. Although I've struggled with contentment for as long as I can remember, where we live and how our home looks seems to be my greatest spiritual downfall.

It's what I'm most defensive and insecure about. It's the last thing I'll admit to most of the time, and is by far the most intense of all my spiritual battles.

I can pin point almost all spiritual defeat, internal strife, depression, and even anger in my life and connect it to Materialism.

I knew that's what God wanted to work on. So, I claimed Psalm 121 and prepped for surgery!

I began thinking about Materialism; how it effects me, what it really is...

After praying, thinking, and praying some more, God showed me...

It's Pride. The root of it all is Pride!

When I think back to when I last thought about how I wanted our house to look, the reason behind it was so that other people would think I'm a good decorator, or that I keep a clean house, or that people would think this or think that...

God gently nudged me {as He so wonderfully does} and said, That's pride... You've let pride take root in your heart and take control of your emotions, your decisions, your thought process and how you view your life.

It's the life sucker, joy stealer, and the anger and sin initiator in me.

It's what prohibits me from genuinely putting my family first. Wanting to elevate myself above others, I only end up in pain and misery and separated from others.

I'm working on memorizing these verses in the hopes of uprooting the pride in my heart and kicking it to the curb.

God hates pride.

Prov.8.13 "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate." 

God promises to punish pride.

Isaiah 2.11 "The lofty looks of man shall be humbled, and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, and the Lord alone shall be exalted on that day."

Isaiah 13.11 "And I will punish the world for their evil, and the wicked for their iniquity; and I will cause the arrogancy of the proud to cease, and will lay low the haughtiness of the terrible."

* * * * * 

The second sin surgery God had in mind was to eliminate something that had stemmed from my pride and materialistic mindset.

My Grass is Greener philosophy.

I really struggle to remain content with where I'm at in life.

I am consistently deceived by the father of lies... His lies slowly make their way into my heart and make me doubt my abilities as a mother, a wife, a Pastor's wife... Consequently, thoughts like "I'm not cut out to be a mother. My kids deserve better than me. I'd be better doing something else..." overwhelm me to the point of wanting to give up. And nothing would make satan happier.

Another culprit -- I am constantly comparing my home, my cooking and housekeeping abilities, pretty much my whole life to others'... Other Moms seem to have it together all the time, somehow effortlessly maintaining their supermodel looks and stainless name-brand clothing. You know the kind... You pass by them in the grocery store thinking, "How in the world do they do it?!?!" 

This encouraged my heart like nothing else... I am guilty of this very thing and hated myself for it, but didn't know how to get the victory over it. This quote changed all of that for me!

I was listening to Women Living Well's webcast last night. The topic of discussion was Motherhood and Marriage, which was perfect timing for the condition of my heart as of late.

Darlene Schacht was a keynote speaker and she encouraged us to love our families, make them our priority and serve them! They are our ministry! Just as Jesus served and washed His Apostles' feet!

"Being an awesome wife has little to do with our clothing, but has everything to do with the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit."

She shared her sister Betty's thoughts on personal expectations. She calls it the June Cleavers Syndrome. This is when our expectations are what we think they should be according to the standards of what we see around us, rather than embracing the woman we were created to be. June Cleavers Syndrome develops when we're busy imitating someone else's expectations and mentally downplaying our strengths and abilities.

When we doubt our ability to be the wife and mother that our husband and children need us to be, just remember that God, in all His wisdom, perfection and love, gave our husband and each of our children to us!

He has entrusted our children into our care because He knows we are the ones who can best care for them.

Everybody has different situations, different circumstances, differing strengths and weaknesses... We need to embrace who we are and let God mold us. He will use all the little characteristics and attributes He created us with to make us into His Masterpiece!

Embrace what God has given you and bloom where you're planted.

The grass may look greener on the other side, but the grass is green where you water it!

Coming this Spring. . .

Our family has a little addition on the way! How's that for news?!

It's funny...God's sense of humor. Logan and I had recently talked and decided we would be perfectly content if we didn't have anymore kids. If God wanted us to have more, that would be great too! But, we both agreed that it would be nice to be able to put everything into Emma, give her as many opportunities as there are available, and pour all of our love and attention into her. I guess God wanted to let us know He has other plans for us! 

We are so excited and cannot wait for our little one to arrive! I would greatly appreciate your prayers, as this pregnancy will definitely not be as easy as my first. Chasing a toddler around the house, and all that comes with that, is going to get harder as my belly gets bigger! So, thank you in advance!

Fellow-Mama's out there, please comment and share your gems on simultaneously balancing a toddler, keeping house, and all that comes with pregnancy! I would love to hear your stories! From family grocery-shopping escapades to the gag-worthy diaper explosions! I'll take 'em all!

Today I'm thankful for Plaid PJ's and Chinese Takeout.

I love Fall! The crisp air blowing in, leaves changing color, caramel pumpkin spice lattes... Heaven in a cup! But what I love most are the Fall festivities; corn mazes, pumpkin picking, and best of all . . . Thanksgiving!

So, in honor of this Season of Thanks we're entering, here are some things I'm thankful for today. Some trivial, some legitimate, all true.

I'm thankful for Plaid PJ's. I love the fuzzy, end-of-the-day comfort with which they faithfully welcome you every evening! There's nothing better than wrapping up in your favorite PJ's, a warm blanket, succumbing to the mental state of a vegetable, and watching your favorite TV show after a long day!

I'm thankful for my baby girl. Nothing compares to the joy that comes with having a baby of your own. The overwhelming love that floods over you as you hold your newborn for the first time. The thrill of knowing you will never have a purpose as precious as raising that little one in your arms. I never knew you could love someone so much! 30 seconds of her adorable, contagious little laughs far more than make up for the tantrums, constant mess and chaos!

I'm thankful for Chinese takeout. Whoever decided to start a delivery service that brings food to peoples' doors was nothing short of a genius. For the most part, Logan and I try our best to eat healthy. But, every once in a while, we indulge in the marvelous conglomerate of partially congealed Americanized Chinese. And, quite frankly, I couldn't care less that my spring rolls and orange chicken have absolutely no nutritional substance. I'm thankful for gluttonous, cooking-free evenings in. There's just nothing like hot food delivered straight to your door, throw-away utensils and dinner on the couch!

I'm thankful for my Country. Despite the supercilious, open-ended government shutdown, billions of debt, and our government's shameful infringement of laws, the United States of America is still the best country in the world! It's a place of freedom. Though they seem to be vanishing quickly, our freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, freedom of press and much much more, all remain ours! The Bill of Rights are still the dominant laws of our country; we can preach, teach, pray and share God's love and grace in unabashed freedom!

I'm thankful for Facebook. It keeps family and friends connected despite the hundreds {more like thousands} of miles between us! Don't know if I could live half way across the country from all my family and friends without it!! Thank you, Facebook!

I'm thankful for music. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without music. I once read a quote that said "Music is the background of my life." So true. I always have music playing. If not, I'm playing the piano or humming to myself. We don't have a piano in our apartment right now and it is killing me!!  In high school {remember.. back in the day, not a care in the world.. our only problems were bad hair days, smudged fingernail polish and your boy crush finding out you liked him! aye-yai-yai...} I used to play piano 7 hours a day! There was nothing I loved more than ticklin' those ivory keys and makin' them sing! Alas, wifely duties took precedence and motherhood sure didn't take it's time! Oy.. I love my life! I really do! Really. I just miss the free time to sit and play till my fingers feel like they're going to fall off. Best. feeling. ever. I thank God everyday for the gift of music. The gift of worshipping and glorifying Him with such mellifluous, harmonious beauty... Nothing compares.

I'm thankful for all of you who read here. Your comments, emails, texts and encouraging words have meant so much! Thank you, thank you!!


My prayer for this season:

"Thou who hast given so much to me, give me one more thing...

                                         a grateful heart."


So, what are you guys thankful for today?

10 Sane Steps for When He Makes You Crazy

Have you and your husband ever had that fight?

If not, be prepared...

There comes a time in your relationship when something happens...

Something sets one of you off and both of you say things so "unforgivably" spiteful and hurtful it seemingly shatters everything that was holding the two of you together.

You storm off and slam the door...

The tears begin to fall and you start to question everything... 

    "Did I make a mistake?"                                  
                        
                           "Maybe he wasn't the one for me after all??" 

                                                                            "Where did I go wrong?"   . . . 


You go through the rest of the day steaming mad at each other, avoiding eye contact, slamming cupboards and doors, all the while thinking "I will never forgive him for this...I don't deserve this...what a jerk!"

I know what you're thinking... "My husband and I are so in love with each other, this would never happen to us."

How did I know? Because I though that once, too!

Trust me... There will come a day when he will infuriate you to the point of making you crazy. I mean, absolutely bOnKeRs!!

What do you do if that happens? Oh, I'm so glad you asked!

I want to share with you this 10 Step plan from Lisa Jacobson. These 10 Steps have been essential tools for maintaining my marriage.

1. Wait until you cool down. Before saying or doing anything. A really good first step.

2. Pray about it. Yes, I really mean that. Prayer can settle your soul and clarify your thinking. Pray for him and pray for yourself.

3. Determine whether it's worth "fighting" for. I might simply be an offense you can overlook. Or maybe not.

If not...

4. Clearly identify the issue. Maybe it was only a "small" thing, but it's significant to you for your own reasons. Be ready to explain those reasons the best you can.

5. Approach him in love. This means not coming after him with eyes blazing (see #1).

6. Be prepared to listen. He might - just might - have his own side to the story. Hear him out too.

7. Give him time. He could need to think about it {and keep praying while he's thinkin'!}.

8. Be ready to forgive. Not necessarily because he deserves it. Or that it's easy. But because you've been forgiven much too.

9. Let it go. Don't - please - don't hold on and let bitterness take root. And don't throw it in his face the next time it happens. {Did i say "next time"...? Ugh.}

10. Choose to love him. All over again. And then again.

Hopefully you're not like me. You're even-keeled and nothing ever bugs you or hurts your feelings. You never get mad or frustrated with him. It's smooth-sailing for you and I'm so glad that it is. Truly.

But for those of you who struggle with much the same things as me? You might want to consider taking these Ten Steps.

Because if you're gonna go crazy, I say you might as well be crazy for him. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

This gem of an author contributes to the Time-Warp Wife. You can read more of their jewels on life, home, and marriage here.

Thanks for stopping by!

With Fresh Eyes

Well, it's been quite the morning in our home to say the least. It's not even 10 a.m. and our little one has already had several lessons in behavioral etiquette...

Among a few other things, Emma has {hopefully} learned that...
Hitting Ma-ma is not OK.
Angrily hitting the {very full} spoon that's feeding you, splattering food all over Ma-ma and the floor, is not acceptable.
And flailing on the floor while screaming at the top of your lungs, unfortunately, does not get you what you want.

All this before 10 a.m.! I haven't even had a chance to make my coffee yet... {sigh} It's gonna be a 2...or 3..or 4-cup kinda morning.

For the most part, Emma is sweet, content and cheerful, and loves to make you laugh. But as she's been growing into her personality, she's had several bad days, in which she's been testy, discontent and beyond irritable. It's during these days I easily become overwhelmed and struggle to maintain an even keel and act in love. I become consumed in maintaining some sort of structure and balance for my family, trying to keep myself {my emotions} bridled and under control. My mind reeling with To-Do Lists, errands and keeping our house together, I neglect my Quiet Time. Sure, I'll retreat for a quick 15 minutes of peace and quiet to pray and read my Scripture of the day. But I return to the hustle and bustle with my heart in the same place, counting on that 15 minutes of God to give me enough "oomph" for the day; enough "God-power" to maintain that calm, "zen", Prov.31 spirit to handle all the day brings.

Yeah, right...

* * * * * *

Sometimes I envy new believers...

They are just ON FIRE for the Lord! They have the amazing privilege of seeing everything with fresh eyes. Verses like John 3.16 and Philippians 4.13 give them chills. Songs we hear all the time and know by heart {Amazing Grace, I Surrender All} bring tears to their eyes.

I'm ashamed to say that, after growing up in church and being a believer for so long, I often read over the verses I've known since Kindergarten {John 14.6, Galatians 3.26...}. I mentally file them away for the next time I share Christ with someone, forgetting their present relevance to me. I mechanically sing Amazing Grace, I Surrender All, and Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus allowing the lyrics to glide over my cold, unaffected heart...

The truth is... I've forgotten.

I've forgotten why I call myself a Christian. I've forgotten the purpose behind my Christianity. I've allowed myself to forget the meaning and the overwhelming depth of what Jesus Christ did for ME! 

We need a renewed fervor and passion for our Lord. We need to focus less on whether the house is spic'n'span or not, and focus more of our attention and energy on regaining a passion and love for our God.

Forget the To-Do Lists, errands, and frustrating tantrums for 30 minutes and read God's Word with fresh eyes and a renewed focus!

Here are some things I have tried in an effort to enhance my Quiet Time...

• Wake up a good 30-40 minutes before my family wakes up.
• Find {or create} a comfortable, clutter-free, relaxing environment. 
• Make sure my cell phone and all other distracting/tempting electronics are OFF. 
• Use a Devotional Guide Book - I've been reading through a 365-day devotional book; Jesus is Calling by Sarah Young. My husband frequently uses the YouVersion Bible App (downloadable on any wi-fi capable device); they have very good topical reading plans and other great resources.
• Keep a Devotional Diary - I record what I read that day, how it spoke to my heart, and the things it revealed to me about myself that I need to ask God to change in me. Actually, writing like this helps me stay focused and resist the urge to jot down a quick To-Do list as things come to mind.
• Keep a Prayer Journal - I record what I prayed for that day/week/month and then record how those prayers were answered. I've found this to be very spiritually enriching! I love looking through my journal and being reminded of all God has done for me. I always close my book in awe of God and His faithfulness even down to the little things.

I hope those few things help you develop and enhance your Quiet Time with the Lord.

As you begin to open yourself up to Him again and your heart draws closer to His, you will find that regained passion and love for Him that you've been searching for all this time...

                  You will see Him in a whole new light...

                                              You will see Him with fresh eyes.

Know Your Relational Boundaries

Happy Monday to you...

We have had a very full schedule and family staying with us this past week leaving me with very little time to write. So, I will share with you something I read that reached my heart today...

To frame our conversations, a scriptural encouragement -

"The lines have fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage." ~ Psalm 16:6 

Oh, this one just truly hurts my heart to watch. Along with knowing when to let it rest in our own lives, we must grow in knowing when to let it rest with other people. 

We often think of boundaries as keeping people, things, non-essential priorities out. There's truth here. Today, I'd suggest also thinking of these same fences as keeping YOU in.

We women are rescuers at times. 

But you see, there's only so much we can do in some of our relationships. There will be times where our power to reason, talk or share with, persuade, or even encourage another person will be limited.

We will encounter frustration at our inability to change a person, or influence them to change their situation.

This is exactly as it should be. We're not God.

What got satan kicked out of heaven, Adam & Eve banished from the garden, and a host of other biblical characters in trouble, was their unhealthy desire for influence. They weren't content with their sphere or level of impact or authority -- they wanted God's.

But, I've done it - and maybe you have too? - I jump those fences which inform me of my limitations, and find myself waaaay outside of my sphere of influence.

Basically, I've leapt over marriage fences, parenting boundaries, friendship lines and pastoral limitations thinking if I just....then they will... You know what I mean, don't you?

We play Holy Spirit. We play God.

I know it's tough. I relate to feelings of helplessness. I understand it's most likely out of our care for another person. I get it.

But like the psalmist, I instead want to recognize there are pleasant boundary lines for me, especially in relationships. Honoring those will bring me peace, a delightful inheritance as I pray and trust for changes.

:

{**I'm aware many are called to go further in helping a troubled individual than what may seem normal. I encourage you to exercise wisdom - and to ask for it by receiving counsel. Scripture describes how this can be a slippery slope.**}

: 

Action plan: Pray and ask God if you've jumped a relational fence recently, stepped into territory that's His alone. Ask for strength to get back on your side and to trust God at work. Prayerfully, you'll find rest as well.

More to Read: The first part of Galatians 6 offers great insight on working with others, while remaining humble ourselves. Take a look!

Shared from www.domesticserenity.org

Please share your thoughts! I'd love to hear from you!

Gentle Savior, Lead Me On

Logan and I have dealt with many people who have a hard time believing that God would ever forgive some of the things they have done. I admit, I have dealt with the same doubts and fears myself... 

But, I rely heavily on verses like Ephesians 1.7 "...we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace", and 1 John 1.9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 

These verses are God's promise to us. 

He promises to forgive us, renew us, and guide us back to the path of righteousness.

Micah 7.18-19 

"...he retaineth not his anger forever, because he delighteth in mercy.

He will turn again, he will have compassion on us; he will subdue our iniquities;

and thou wilt cast our sins into the depths of the sea." 

There will never be a time when God will not forgive. This precious gift of forgiveness is hard to wrap our minds around, yet even more astounding is God's willingness to forget our sins and provide us with a fresh new start! This song has become my prayer for strength to accept His gift of forgiveness, to move forward and leave all regrets and personal/spiritual failures behind me. I hope this song encourages your heart as it does mine.

  

 Where are the signs? Which way should I go?

I planned each step but now I don't know.

Tomorrow is a chasm of uncertainty

But, I will go there, if You'll go with me.

Gentle Savior, lead me on.

Let your Spirit light the way.

Gentle Savior, lead me on.

Hold me close and keep me safe.

Lead me on, Gentle Savior. 

Why can't I walk away from my regrets

And why is forgiveness so hard to accept.

My past surrounds me like a house I can't afford.

But you say, "Come with me; don't live there anymore." 

Gentle Savior, lead me on. 

Let your Spirit light the way.

Gentle Savior, lead me on.

Hold me close and keep me safe.

Lead me on, Gentle Savior. 

And when I reach the Valley every soul must journey through,

I'll remember then how well you know the way.

I'll put my hand in Your hand like a trusting child would do

And say 

Gentle Savior, lead me on.

Let your Spirit light the way.

Gentle Savior, lead me on. 

Hold me close and keep me safe.

Lead me on, Gentle Savior.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

God longs for the moment we return to Him. For, the moment when He can embrace us in mercy, love and forgiveness, is the moment He has longed for since the beginning of time.

Confidence in Christ

Con-fi-dence {noun}- The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust

{synonyms - trust, belief, faith, credence, conviction} 

To my shame, I fight a daily battle to obtain confidence in myself. I've always been insecure in my abilities. In time, I developed the emotional habit of needing acceptance from those around me; doing things in a way I knew would gain others' approval and appreciation while, many times, discarding my own opinions, labeling them "inadequate, bad ideas", and so on...

I always question myself. 

In doing this, I inflict upon myself an overwhelming lack of self-worth and feelings of inadequacy. I fail to remember that I was created with a purpose and created by someone who loves everything about me. God created me to share His love and He created me to do so in a way that's unique to me, in a way that maybe some can't...
When I question myself and doubt the abilities God gave me, I question God and what He created! When I criticize myself, my abilities, my talents, I am really saying "God you didn't do a good enough job when you created me!" How many times I've said this to Him I couldn't count, but the thought of saying it even once is enough to bring me to my knees and beg for His forgiveness. He created me precisely how He wanted me, down to the number of hairs on my head!! {Luke 12.6-7} My simple mind will never understand the depth of His love for me...

When dealing with feelings of doubt and lack of self-worth, remember God's love for you. Remember the price He chose to pay for you!

Never forget...

1. You are fearfully and wonderfully made; hand-crafted by the One who embraces you every day in more love than any other ever could. Psalm 139.13-14 "For thou hast possessed my reins; thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

2. You are empowered by God's strength! His ever-present strength is boundlessly provided to all those who come to Him. Joshua 1.9 "Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."
Philippians 4.13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

3. You are worth everything to God. You are worth so much to Him that He sacrificed His only Son for you! John 3.16 

 "For God so Loved the world 

that He gave his Only begotten Son, 

          that whosoever belieVeth in Him should not perish, 

     but have Everlasting life."

4. Christ indwells You! HIS LOVE IS IN YOU, which means you have something unique to offer people! Christ's love empowers you to influence the people He brings your way and make a difference in their lives!  1 John 2.5 "But whoso keepeth His Word, in him verily is the love of God perfected..."

I may not have confidence in my own strengths and abilities, but I have confidence in the fact that God made me for a specific purpose and loves me just the way I am. He loves YOU too!! He gave you the unique talents and abilities you have. Just surrender them, even if you don't know exactly what your talents are yet. Give yourself to God, be prepared to be amazed and see how He uses you for His honor and glory!

Love -- More than a Feeling

I'm sure many of you have read this beautifully-written article "my husband is not my soul mate". If you haven't, I highly recommend you read it! She writes about the flawed concept of soul mates and how marriage is a choice. I've been thinking about this a great deal and agree wholeheartedly.

Love is a CHOICE.

The choice is to LOVE. 

To LOVE is to BE all that love defines.

Desperately rudimentary, yet so profoundly difficult at times.
I'm ashamed to admit how often I'm unloving to the person who I vowed to love most. I get caught up in my daily routine, to-do lists, life... I allow myself to forget the most important thing I have to do. LOVE.

I pray everyday asking God to change my selfish inclination to be rude when I feel stressed or things don't go "MY way", to be quick to lash out, and be easily provoked... God has a lot of work to do in this area of my heart. I will be the first to admit I am not an easy person to live with all the time, but I'm working on it. I want my husband to be anxious to come home from a long day's work, be able to relax and enjoy each other's company. My job is to make our home a safe-haven for my husband and children...to make sure they know they are loved and cared for... to provide a barrier from the world and satan's attacks. I fail to do this when I am selfishly focused on how I feel or when I am bothered and brush them off to make sure I cook dinner and get the laundry done within a certain amount of time... The most precious gift I can give to my family is my love and attention.

"When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers."                                                                                                                            ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Martin Luther coined the phrase,

"Let the wife make her husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave." 

What makes this come to fruition in a marriage is choosing to show love. Loving when we don't feel like it. I really believe that's what makes the difference in a marriage! I can speak from personal experience when I say acting in love despite how I feel is always very rewarding in the end and the feeling always follows, no matter how mad or upset I am. Try it sometime and see if your mood doesn't change. ;) It works!! Trust me!

"Marriage is not for a moment; it is for a lifetime. It requires long and serious preparation. It is not leapt into, but entered with solemn steps of deliberation. For one of the most intimate and difficult of human relationships is that of marriage. Infinitely rewarding at best, unspeakably oppressive at its worst, marriage offers the uttermost extremes of human happiness and human bondage - with all the lesser degrees of felicity and restraint in between." ~Gina Cerminara

I've learned that marriage is about choosing to look beyond human failure and disappointment, choosing to become an expert in forgiveness, and choosing to love your spouse unconditionally.

2 years ago I married the most wonderful man in the world. I chose to love him and [holy guacamole!] I get to choose him every day for the rest of my life! That makes me one happy woman!!

I love you, baby!!!

Spinach Lasagna Rolls

Logan and I had Spinach Lasagna Rolls last night and it was so yummy I have to share the recipe with you!

Ingredients - 

9 lasagna noodles, cooked & drained

10 oz. frozen chopped spinach, thawed & completely drained

15 oz. fat-free ricotta cheese

1/2 c. grated parmesan cheese

1 egg

salt & pepper to taste

32 oz. tomato sauce

1 c. shredded mozzarella cheese

Cook noodles according to package directions. Preheat oven to 350*.

Combine spinach, ricotta, parmesan, egg, salt & pepper into a medium-sized bowl.

Ladle a little more than 1 c. sauce on the bottom of a 9 x 12 baking dish.

Place wax paper on the counter and lay out the pasta. Make sure pasta is dry.

Take 1/3 c. of the cheese/spinach mixture and spread evenly over each noodle. 

Roll carefully (fairly loosely) and place seam down into dish. 

Repeat with each lasagna noodle. Ladle the rest of the sauce over all. 

Top with mozzarella cheese. Cover with foil and bake 40 minutes or until cheese it melted. 

I took the foil off and kept it in for an additional 5 minutes so cheese browned slightly.

Serve with a side salad.

Bon Appetit! 

Hawaii - where God changed me

I've been thinking about Hawaii lately...quite a bit, actually. I miss it!!!

I miss the beautiful, majestic Koaloa mountains...

Once you have seen these mountains, nothing else even comes close in comparison! Koaloa Ranch is where you can see these mountains up close. You can ride horseback through some of the terrain or take their movie bus tour to see where popular shows/movies like Lost, Hawaii 5-0, Jurassic Park, and 50 First Dates were filmed!

The amazing view driving along H3 [one of the main highways] never fails to take your breath away...

Palm trees and beautiful flowers are EVERYWHERE...

My Mom standing by a huge row of Ginger Flowers.

Ginger flowers - One of my favorite flowers on the island!

Hibiscus - They grow wild!!

Downtown Waikiki is one of my favorite places to go. You can shop, eat dinner and finish the beautiful day with a walk on the beach as the sun sets. Then enjoy the nightlife as the street performers come out and entertain!

It's also home of Hawaii Five-0 star Teila Tuli, who my friends and I got to meet while at Boots & Kimo's Homestyle Kitchen in Kailua! By the way, Boots & Kimo's has THE BEST Blueberry Pancakes with Macadamia sauce on the planet!!! No joke.

So for those of you who are unfamiliar with my story and how Hawaii fits in, I'll share with you.
Shortly after we got married, Logan and I moved to Hawaii. I know what you're thinking... "Lucky duck! Your life was one extended honeymoon in paradise!" Yes, maybe it was! But, in actuality, it was by far the hardest thing I had ever done at that point in my life. I had packed up the last 19 years of my life in about eleven 25-gallon tupperware boxes [actually that included most of Logan's belongings, as well] and shipped it overseas. I left behind all of my very close-knit family, life-long friends and the church I had attended since nursery. I had only moved once in my life, at the age of 5 or 6, and we only moved about 15 minutes away so that barely counts. I had the same dentist, doctor, you-name-it, my entire life. Change was not something I was used to nor something I at all appreciated. However, God used that change to begin His change in me.

I was a very sheltered, naive 19-year-old girl who had just married her Prince Charming expecting her happily ever after fairy-tale of a life to begin. Needless to say, moving across the ocean to start a new life, simultaneously gaining the titles "Wife" and "Pastor's Wife", and learning what it means to live on our own [responsibilities that follow gaining a husband and consequently our own household, bills to our name, etc...] shook me to my core. My fairy-tale hopes and dreams being crushed right and left, I was heart-broken but determined that I could have the life I had always dreamt of! After being married for 3 months, the 2 little pink lines on the stick showed up loud and clear! I was PREGNANT! I was ecstatic!! Overjoyed and excited, I began thinking of all the ways a baby would solve our problems and give me the white-picket-fence life I so desperately wanted. Oh was I wrong! The physical, hormonal rollercoaster I was in line for was far more than I'd bargained for! And as much joy as this precious baby girl brought us, the stress and responsibility that came with her was overwhelming. As the ministry, desperately missing home and family, life, and our newborn baby weighed on us, our new marriage was stretched and pulled thin at every turn. My relationship with my husband grew weaker as I tried to control things and make our life what I wanted it to be. Slowly [and painfully!] I came to the end of myself. My relationship with my husband hung by a thread and I had severely damaged my relationship with my Lord. I knew the only way back to Him, and the only way to fix my marriage, was through prayer and reading His Word, so I began to do just that. Eventually, as I sought God, He began working on my heart. He revealed to me how naive, silly and selfish I really was... He gently guided me back to His love and His purpose for me. As I gave Him everything, I let go of our finances, our possessions, my desire for success, my perfect little white-picket-fence life, and felt the weight lift off my shoulders. The stress was gone! I no longer worry and God has proven Himself faithful time and again. We have never needed anything and I know we never will!

I hold onto Psalm 37.4 "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

"Desires of thine heart" doesn't mean my white picket fence! I believe when I began to trust in Him, He changed my heart, my desires... When what I worry about is whether I love Him enough, He changes my heart. In doing so, my desires, my prayers, change to what He wants me to desire and pray for and then He blesses by granting those prayers.

So Hawaii holds a special place in my heart. It is where I feel I truly gave myself to Him and He changed me. I am still a major work in progress [MAJOR] and fail Him again and again... Yet, all the while, He continues to give grace and love me unconditionally.


For that, I am forever grateful, and love and praise Him for all He has done for me.